Survival! A memoir

You know that phrase 'undeserving victims'? Rubbish, if you ask me. It's akin to saying some poor souls actually deserve the misfortune they're dealt. As if it's their fault for not overcoming life's hurdles or shrugging off the daily dose of hatred they endure. Here's a shocking revelation: trauma survivors are far more likely to face abuse from people they know than from strangers. Most of these incidents occur in places like residential schools or care homes. The environment and culture in these institutions often shield abusers from scrutiny. When people dismiss bullying as 'boys being boys' or 'rough-housing' instead of calling it what it is—violence—they're essentially giving brutality the green light. Do you know who bears the brunt of this? Those who don't fit in. They become walking targets whilst everyone else either turns a blind eye or remains silent.   In the 1980s, we had vague notions of racism, sexism, homophobia, and ...

Survival: Finding success after experiencing trauma  “I recall I was placed in a small chair in front of a line of men in suits, each asking me questions. While the questions themselves weren’t exceptionally difficult, my fear of failure made me stutter. I felt small, helpless, and afraid of what might happen if I said something wrong.”   https://amzn.to/3AqNt3H In a world where mainstream storytelling often marginalises or misrepresents the experiences of disabled individuals, *Survival* emerges as a powerful voice of truth. This book, written by a disabled author who has lived through the struggles and the challenges of biases that have long skewed our understanding of disability. *Survival” is not just a story; it is a call to action—a demand for authenticity in the way we represent disabled lives. This book dismantles stereotypes and defies the misconceptions that have too often shaped our perspectives. It is a candid exploration of the strength, resilience, and humanity o...

Whose focus is it anyway!? I'm always amazed at how many people want to tell my story their  way. For example, rephrasing my challenges as a right of passage, or my achievements as proof of privilege. Acknowledging privilege and disadvantage more explicitly does more than show respect, it avoids framing individuals as sinners or saints. Finding joy in the lives of those who face the weight of society’s misrepresentation is not the way to go!? I do not want to be framed as inspirational but equally hard-working. In reflecting on the power of language and the narratives that shape our understanding of disability, it's crucial to acknowledge the voices of those living with the experience, working in the area and knowledgeable about the subject. For example, I have had experiences as a woman, learned understanding as a feminist, and gained wisdom as a student of gender studies. Similarly, as a disabled person, a disability equality trainer and a student of Disability Studies, I f...

I t never ceases to amaze me how many people I encounter who opt to lecture rather than inquire about a topic they haven't even bothered to search! They'll go out of their way to emphasise that they don't personally identify as disabled, only to then proceed to spout off everything they think they know about disability. They're essentially talking nonsense while disregarding over fifty years of my experience, a thirty-five-year career in disability equality training, and a decade of academic pursuit (that’s a whopping 5,200 hours of study!?! And approximately 3000 texts!). Not only is this behaviour irksome, but it's downright rude! This wilful ignorance is occasionally topped by those who, having seen a programme on disability, the Social Model, or the Disabled People's Movement — possibly through a passing tweet or post — declare that they don’t believe in SUCH ideas. Seriously?! As if the invaluable contributions to professional wisdom, research, and the arts...

  Navigating the Intersectionality Roundabout As I sit down to delve into the complex realm of intersectionality, I find myself reflecting on the conversations that have sparked my thoughts on this topic. Gratitude goes out to friends, and their feminist ideas, which have reignited my passion for exploring the intricacies of oppression and identity. Two recent encounters have particularly stirred my contemplation on intersectionality. The first involves a well-known figure proclaiming that homophobia surpasses all other forms of oppression. The second revolves around an anti-racist argument that inadvertently perpetuates ableism. Both instances left me grappling with a sense of unease and compelled me to delve deeper into the nuances of oppression. The way I read it, oppression rarely exists in isolation; it's inherently intersectional. The notion of being caught between two roads feels inadequate; many of us find ourselves spinning between many intersecting identities. Years ago, ...

Another challenge I set myself writing   Survival , was to describe ableism - discrimination, inequality  and oppression - without actually using the terms. Because I have often been told by the people I work with that  they're too high-brow, academic and jargonistic.   I   did, however, want readers to understand the experience, to counter the belief that disabled people are different, odd or unique. In chapter 13, I tackle ableism at work, using theoretical concepts under my storytelling, and ideas from critical equality, accountability and stewardship literature.   Woman in wheelchair answering questions    It's odd how frequently I'm approached to engage in discussions surrounding disability-related topics. While being asked is not inherently problematic, it's essential to recognise that my contribution to the workplace extends beyond being a mere conduit for conversations about disability.  As a disabled individual myself, a dedicated di...